musings

Four years have flown by in the blink of an eye, and my time at UCL has felt both brutal and embracing. College days were often filled with worry and loneliness, yet there were many exhilarating moments. I am deeply grateful to my personal tutor, Professor Simon Julier, for his willingness to listen to my thoughts across an academic year. Being an introverted person with poor communication skills and an education in a small town before high school, I always feared I was less capable than my peers. Yet, Professor Julier patiently listened to my naive ideas during each meeting, generously offering encouragement and praise. He always provided professional feedback, which broadened my perspective and fueled my research interests. I aspire to become a knowledgeable teacher like him. I am also immensely thankful to him for encouraging me to publish papers. He took time out of his busy schedule to register me, patiently revise my paper, and even correct the formulas I had written incorrectly. I know these were not his obligations, so I am very grateful to him, and I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused. Thanks to all the encouragement I’ve received along the way, I have the courage to continue chasing my dreams.

Moreover, a humorous anecdote comes to mind. Professor Julier dislikes self-aggrandizing adjectives in academic writing. I often slipped up, peppering my drafts with hints of what he disdained, which inevitably led to criticism. Consequently, I’ve become acutely sensitive to such adjectives in scholarly articles, almost instinctively highlighting them in my mind as I read.

Another professor whose classes I cherish is Professor Niloy Mitra. I was his student during my third and fourth years. He is both a passionate educator and a renowned researcher. His lectures were infused with enthusiasm, and the courses he designed were among the most thoughtfully structured and effective I’ve experienced. They struck the right balance between engaging content and rigorous mathematical foundations, making them both captivating and intellectually solid.

By the way, how could a college experience be complete without a relationship? Indeed, it provided spiritual support and strength during my challenging academic journey, but its abrupt end was devastating. It can only be described as nightmares since the beginning of the year. Crying, waking up, sobbing, crying on my small bed in the apartment, crying in the UCLH emergency room, sobbing on the phone with my mom. The despair of being cut off contact was maddening. At the same time, I never realized how suffocating a seven-hour time difference could be. However, I completed various assignments, prepared for interviews, and handled various matters during the despair period. Now, I feel strong enough to move forward.

I look back on my time at UCL with mixed emotions as I look forward to what lies ahead.